It’s a Dog Eat Reporter World
I’ve never had a dog. Growing up in Syracuse, New York, I had cats. My first pet ever was a gray and white cat named Murphy (after “Murphy Brown.” Yes, my obsession with television and news started young).
We got Murphy in 1993 and Tigger in 1997. Tigger is an orange attention whore who chased Murphy away. After years of torment from Tiggy and an accident that required Murphy to get her jaw wired shut for a few weeks, she ran away. Yes, my cat ran away. And do you want to know how I know she ran away and was not eaten by coyotes (Sorry, Jessica Simpson)? Because Murphy would come back to visit. Every now and then she would appear on our door step as if to say “Screw you, Barnellos.”
Then I got Bear—a black cat I rescued from Alabama.

Bear is a terrorist. He has chewed up a necklace I bought in London, puked all over the carpet in spite, and chewed a hair band out of my hair while I was sleeping.
Well now I’ve got my first dog, Deja Boo. She’s a vivacious, face-licking, lapdog-who-is-not-a-lapdog. My roommate, Lizz, got her from the Albany Humane Society. So she’s really not mine, but it’s the first time I’ve ever lived with a dog.

Deja loves everybody, even Bear the monster kitty from Alabma. They chase each other around, and sometimes Deja licks Bear’s butt and he doesn’t stop it. I dont’ get it. Like I said, I’ve never had a dog, and I’ve never been afraid of dogs.
I was never afraid of dogs until I did a story about “dryer fires.” Here’s the finished product: Hill Rd. dryer fire is 14th this year
There was a dryer fire in Dougherty County and Fire Chief James Carswell told fellow reporter Jeff Abeln that this was the 14th this year. Who knew? Not me. Dryer fires are very dangerous and common, according to Chief Carswell. Jeff was originally assigned the story and got footage of the house.
When I was reassigned the story, Jeff said, “Just so you know, my footage isn’t that great because there was a pretty tough-looking dog at the house so I couldn’t get that close.”
“OK, well I’ll just go back out there to shoot my standup and avoid the dog,” I told him.
I arrive at the house and see the burnt washer and dryer as well as burnt clothes at the top of a long driveway. The house was deserted, but I noticed a white pit bull sitting in a doghouse. I take a few steps up the driveway and see the dog is on a chain.
Oh, silly Jeff ,the dog is tied up! Who cares if he’s barking? He can’t reach me! Hah!
I walk up the rest of the driveway (Trespass much, Jana?) and get this great footage of the burnt dryer. The dog is barking at me and I’m saying, “It’s OK! I’m leaving soon!”

I was looking through the camera’s viewfinder when I saw him. A SECOND dog trotting out from the backyard. This one, a beautiful brown pit bull, barking its freaking head off, and all of his doggie rage directed at the blonde idiot reporter standing in his driveway.
I quickly grab my gear and start to walk briskly down the driveway. Heel, toe, heel, toe. I’m walking like an Olympic speed walker when I see the dog charge.
I won’t say that my life flashed before my eyes, but I did suddenly wish I’d eaten that chocolate cake from the night before. Who wants to die in a dog attack having regrets??
The brown pit bull proceeded to chase me down the driveway. He finally stopped when I got far enough away from the house, but I still had to shoot my standup. I set up my camera at the bottom of the driveway and start shooting my rehearsed line.
“Carswell says this is the 14th dryer fire this year, and collectively these types of fires have caused $250,000 worth of damage.”
In a triumphant, idiotic moment while I’m rewinding the tape so I can watch my standup back to make sure it turned out OK, I turn to the white dog (the brown one retreated to the backyard) and said, “Bye puppy!”
Immediately, as if the voice of the devil had materialized at the bottom of this pup’s driveway, there was an eruption of barking from BOTH dogs. The brown dog came charging at me AGAIN. I grab the camera and tripod and run behind the truck. Except I left my camera bag at the bottom of the driveway…
I had to wait until the brown dog of doom retreated again. Then I saw my opening. I dashed out from behind the truck and snatched the camera bag. When the white dog saw me, he of course began barking which sent his brown counterpart speeding down the driveway toward me for a third time! But I made it back to the truck. I was safe.
My heart pounding, I drive away to another story. I called Jeff to tell him the tale. We laughed about it and said, “See ya back at the station.”
I’m back at FOX 31 and ready to start editing. I giggle about my near dog attack with co-workers, trying to mask the very real fear I felt. As I’m talking, I’m watching my footage on the monitor.
Wait a minute. Where’s the dryer footage? Where’s my standup?
Turns out in my terror and sprinting, I forgot that I REWOUND the tape. Consequently, I recorded over all of my awesome dryer footage and standup.
Defeated, I got in the car and drove back out there. I stood at the bottom of the driveway, white scary dog looking on (probably wondering if I taste like the chocolate cake I so stupidly turned down the night before), and shot my standup again …
“Carswell says this is the 14th…”
…and then fled like Don Buie.
I never did get that close up footage of the dryer, and I never did realize, until that day, that I could be scared of a dog.
I guess that’s what I get for taunting one from afar. Oh, and trespassing.
Like I said, I’ve never had a dog.
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